I have been manuevering the process to get the gastric sleeve surgery through the NHS for about 2 years. Many times I truly believed I was wasting my time and that they would deny me the surgery. I just kept on keeping on and doing my best to do whatever they asked of me.
I have lost about 60lbs on my own over the course of these two years. I know that is rather slow progress but progress nonetheless. I have also reduced my fat percentage from 54% down to 41% in that time which is an even bigger achievement to me. Could I eventually lose all the weight without surgery? Honestly, I don’t think so. I am so mentally shot from dieting and being hungry all the time over the last 3 decades that even if given the magic formula of weight loss I think I would crash and burn. I need to be able to reduce the hunger….knawing, painful hunger…..and at this point I feel that weight loss surgery is the only way.
I got my surgery date for 2 weeks time yesterday and have started on my pre-op diet. I feel insanely hungry. The noise from my stomach is distracting for the people around me. This will be a long two weeks and I will have to use all my willpower to not turn to cannibalism. I cannot tell you just how unsatisfying even a double protein shake is as there are no words for it.
I do wonder how I will feel emotionally without eating normally with the family. My first bit emotional challenge will be 9 days after surgery when the family goes out for a nice meal for my eldest 17th birthday. Exactly one month later (and only maybe up to mashed potatoes) is my son’s 16th birthday and the 8 week mark will be my birthday. How will I feel? They try to help you prepare but emotions are funny things and effect us all differently.
Anyway, must stop dwelling on my thoughts as it is only making my already growling and churning stomach more hungry. Dinner (only solid allowed) is in the oven and hopefully will feel somewhat filling.