Life as I know it today

Christmas seems to have gone pretty well.  Everyone is happy with gifts and no major fights.  I have even heard giggling from the two teens in the shared room.  Shocking I know!  The food has been a bit much for me this year.  I honestly feel like I have a good hangover in the mornings.  I am also working on my New Years resolutions….or at least goals for the future.

My lovely husband likes to spoil me with gifts.  Would be fine if we were millionaires but stresses me out a bit about finances since we are very average.  I know we had the cash to buy this handy dandy iPad I am typing on since we sold the house so this is an irrational worry….one of many.  I also got a Dyson V8 vacuum cleaner which makes me a happy girl but it seems to bother others that I honestly wanted and was excited about a vacuum.  I had my heart so set on the vacuum that I was disappointed by the iPad because I didn’t expect that I would get two expensive gifts so when the V8 came out I was as giddy as a kid with a new toy.  My family seems to think I am crazy….probably so but I have my new toy and that makes me happy.

Crazy BIL didn’t start any shit while at the in law’s house (was plenty shitty beforehand though) but we were both so anxious about him starting shit that we decided to leave early rather than spend the night.  The middle kid was also jonesing for his new computer.  While we were there it was a nice day though and that is what matters.

Another thing about no major fighting is that my girls who share a room have sent quite a bit of time giggling away in their rooms.  Do they disagree and have tiffs?  Of course they do but not as bad as I have been expecting since we moved into the new house. I feel really blessed to have happy and healthy kids and the giggling brings me so much joy.

Since it is Christmastime and all we have been  eating anything we like.  There has been chocolate, cheese and lots of pastry, cake and cookies. I believe I am feeling a sugar hangover every morning lately. Chocolate doesn’t even interest me at this point as I have had so much.  I hate to even imagine how much weight I have put on in the last week.  It can not be good I am sure.  My aim at this point is to start gently get back onto my paleo wagon by New Years Day.  By then all the nibbles and treats should be long gone and I can do a full clear out of my kitchen/pantries.  I have been reading a paleo style book (eat fat get thin)and listening to a primal podcast (primal potential) trying to work on my mental state and be ready for the first of the year. 

 I have been referred to the bariatric surgeon for gastric sleeve surgery so  really must get back into the dieting game now so I don’t get sent back down to the useless dietitian and psychologist.  Not so impressed with the endocrinologist either after seeing the letter they sent to my gp (I get a copy of the correspondence).  The doctor wrote to the gp that I had been following an extremely restricted diet of no carbohydrates at all.  I had told them that I had been following a paleo/primal diet while my eight loss was very good.  I explained how the diet works and that I was having about 100-150g of carbohydrates everyday in the form of non-starchy vegetables and fruit.  How on earth the supposedly intelligent people can see this as no carbohydrates at all is beyond me.  

Now for my goals for the future which I guess are resolutions considering the time of year.  I am going to be getting back onto my paleo diet and make sure I go to the gym five days a week so as to get my weight down.  I don’t know for sure if I will be allowed to get the gastric sleeve surgery so have have to just keep working toward losing another 120 pounds.  I don’t expect I can do it all in one year by any means and I don’t think I want to even if it is possible.  I think a none surgery goal for my weight loss is another 50 pounds this year.  In addition to the weight loss goal which I guess must be a part of any self-respecting fat girl’s New Years resolutions I also have a goal of improving my household organisation.  I want to do better about keeping my home clean as well as planning out shopping.  My last goal is to spend some quiet meditation time each day so as to help myself relax more and hopefully reduce anxiety.

Life is pretty good right now.  I have a few things to work on in the future but nothing I can’t do.  I am blessed with a husband that treats me like a queen and kids who are wonderful people.  I hope you have all had great holidays this year and that next year is better than ever before.

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